Monday, 7 April 2014

Highland home writing!

WALT: Write entertain our reader.
Purpose: To tell about an experience from camp, using short sentences to create suspense.
WALT: Entertain (recount)
Task: To write a recount based on something scary or suspenseful that happened to you.

Criteria: I canSelf Assessment
Peer Comment
Descriptive vocabulary (words that help to SHOW the reader)
  • use a range of verbs
  • use a variety of adverbs
Language features (phrases that help paint a picture)
  • select 2 - 3 similes
  • select 2 - 3 metaphors or personification
  • choose onomatopoeia to show sounds (crash!)
  • select words that start with the same sound (alliteration)
  • use short sentences to create suspense
  • use 3 - 5 paragraphs.
Name: Maia
Overall, how well do you think your learning partner has done?

Comment: Cool story Ana! I like how you added lots of detail.

My writing about camp is about amazing rock climbing. I have done five drafts. My first one is in my writing book the second, third, fourth and fifth drafts are in different colours. To entertain the reader I have used different language features like personification, similes, metaphors, alliteration and onamatapia. Here are my drafts.


  1. Ana - you have clearly shown the progressions you have made through each draft of your camp writing. Thank you for making it so easy to see! I just love this piece of writing - 2 things specifically stand out to me - the first is 'the wicked wind whispered to me' - as a reader, I can really relate to that. The second is 'As I was lowered down, I noticed something I had not noticed before. My whole group cheering me on.' Why do you think that happened? Was it because you were concentrating so hard on that task at hand?

  2. Such entertaining writing, Ana. I can see all of the language features that you aimed to use in this piece. I like the way you've used a range of them to keep it interesting for the reader. I'm looking forward to seeing the magazine-style writing you've told me you want to try next. Great effort and perseverance Ana.