Monday 7 April 2014

Highland home writing!

WALT: Write entertain our reader.
Purpose: To tell about an experience from camp, using short sentences to create suspense.
WALT: Entertain (recount)
Task: To write a recount based on something scary or suspenseful that happened to you.
Criteria: I canSelf Assessment
Peer Comment
Descriptive vocabulary (words that help to SHOW the reader)
  • use a range of verbs
  • use a variety of adverbs
Language features (phrases that help paint a picture)
  • select 2 - 3 similes
  • select 2 - 3 metaphors or personification
  • choose onomatopoeia to show sounds (crash!)
  • select words that start with the same sound (alliteration)
Sentences
  • use short sentences to create suspense
Structure
  • use 3 - 5 paragraphs.
Name: Maia
Overall, how well do you think your learning partner has done?







Comment: Cool story Ana! I like how you added lots of detail.


My writing about camp is about amazing rock climbing. I have done five drafts. My first one is in my writing book the second, third, fourth and fifth drafts are in different colours. To entertain the reader I have used different language features like personification, similes, metaphors, alliteration and onamatapia. Here are my drafts.












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2 comments:

  1. Anonymous12 April 2014 at 21:38

    Ana - you have clearly shown the progressions you have made through each draft of your camp writing. Thank you for making it so easy to see! I just love this piece of writing - 2 things specifically stand out to me - the first is 'the wicked wind whispered to me' - as a reader, I can really relate to that. The second is 'As I was lowered down, I noticed something I had not noticed before. My whole group cheering me on.' Why do you think that happened? Was it because you were concentrating so hard on that task at hand?

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  2. Mum16 April 2014 at 09:44

    Such entertaining writing, Ana. I can see all of the language features that you aimed to use in this piece. I like the way you've used a range of them to keep it interesting for the reader. I'm looking forward to seeing the magazine-style writing you've told me you want to try next. Great effort and perseverance Ana.

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